When I read this quote by Kate Winslet, it struck me to my core,
“As a child, I never heard one woman say to me, ‘I love my body.’ Not my mother, my elder sister, my best friend. No one woman has ever said, ‘I am so proud of my body.’ So I make sure to say it to Mia [her daughter], because a positive physical outlook has to start at an early age.”
I’ve avoided saying anything negative about my body or my children’s bodies, but I don’t openly talk about what I like about my own body. I recently realized the importance of positive body talk even more, and why it’s my responsibility to be the example to my children. Heaven knows the world certainly won’t be.
I was getting dressed to teach a workout class and walked out out of my bathroom with a sports bra on to grab a shirt. My 4 year old daughter took one look at my belly and laughed out loud.
In years past, it may have bothered me. Do I like that I have a wrinkly tummy? Of course not. However, I love the reasons that I have a wrinkly tummy.
There are three of them.
I carried each one for nine months inside of me, and they bring life and joy into our home.
I smiled at her and said, “Do you know why I have a wrinkly tummy?”
“No,” she replied.
“It’s because your first house was in here,” I said as I pointed to my stomach. “You lived in here and your sister and brother lived in here, too. That’s why my tummy looks like this. It had to grow big enough for you to fit.”
She was satisfied with that answer, and I was thinking down the road.
When she has a growing belly of her own, what will she think?
When she has a post-partum belly, will she feel like her body is broken or will she love it for what it has created?
Will she worry about what someone else thinks about her body or love herself enough to not care what others think?
Our bodies are miracles. They are miracles. Mine. Yours. Theirs.
It’s not enough to just cut the negative self talk. You must speak positively about your body. It matters to you.
You must also speak positively about others’ bodies. It matters to you. It matters to them. Like it or not, our children pick up on every cue we give them. How we talk about others is a reflection of ourselves and also how we train our children to talk about themselves and others.
Please remember this. You are not your thoughts. You are the thinker of your thoughts, but your thoughts are extremely powerful. Your words are powerful too. What you think about and say becomes your reality.
Now, this certainly doesn’t mean you need to turn vain about how you look or teach your child to focus only on outward appearance. Our bodies are way more than what they look like.
4 Tips to Start Talking Positively About Your Body
1) If you can’t say something nice about how your body looks just yet, then say something nice about what it can physically do.
– I can run.
– I can carry my baby.
– I can push my daughter in the swing.
2) Add to the above by focusing on a body part that allows you to do something by filling in the blank.
– I like ______ because it allows me to ________. For example, I like my eyes because they allow me to see the world around me.
3) Say positive body affirmations.
– I love my body.
– My body is beautiful the way it is.
– Download 17 Positive Body Love Affirmations for you and your child.
4) Encourage your child to do the same.
– I love our arms because they help us hug each other.
– I love my lap because you can sit here while we read a story together.
– Your strong legs help you run so fast.
If you struggle with loving your body, it’s ok. You might be surprised to find that every person has struggled with something related to their body. I know I have. I’ve come a long way in loving my body for what it is today and not what it used to be and not what it never will be.
Simply start by catching negative thoughts and stopping them in their tracks. Then work to change your negative thoughts to ones of love, honor, encouragement, peace, and respect. You deserve all of these things. You will find a beautiful change in your outlook on yourself and life and become a happier person in the process.
Teach your daughter to do the same. Her little eyes and ears are watching and listening. Show her the way.
*Remember, positive body image isn’t just for girls. Boys need it too.
Download 17 Positive Body Love Affirmations for you and your child.
