There are so many rich experiences life has to offer us. Between work, family time, church service, hobbies, running kids around to activities, and finding time to relax, it is easy to book our schedules too full without leaving a moment to ourselves. Sometimes we find that we have bitten off way more than we can chew, and we become completely overwhelmed and exhausted.
True, it may be all good commitments we have buried ourselves in, but if we don’t have enough time to take care of ourselves, it is simply too much. So how do you cut back when you realize you are keeping too fast of a pace, and need a chance to put the brakes on and relax? Here are a few ideas.
Rethink Your Priorities
Just because something is good, doesn’t mean it is good for you. You may be using your time to help others, like volunteering with a charity or serving on the parents’ board at your children’s school. If it is cutting into much needed family time, or interfering with your marriage, perhaps now is not the best time to be involved.
I find it helpful to use the “good, better, best” method. As my schedule fills up, I simply ask if each item is just a good thing, a better-than-good thing, or THE best thing. Much of what we often get sucked into is just good, not even better-than-good, and certainly not best.
And you need to remember that no matter how much good your commitment is contributing to a cause you are passionate about, you still have to decide if it is the best thing to take your attention right now. If not, find a way to scale back or cut it out completely for now. There will likely be plenty of time to revisit your commitment at a later time, and you really only have time for the best things in life.
Follow Your Intuition
If you want a quick way to decide whether you are cut out for a particular project, pay attention to how you feel when it is offered to you. Your gut reaction will almost never lead you astray. For example, think about a time when someone has asked you to be involved in their cause. Were you feeling a twinge of excitement or slight panic? How did it turn out based on your original gut feeling? Going with your intuition will almost always serve you well, and keep you from taking on projects that are going to become a source of stress to you.
Meet Halfway
If you have been asked to be involved in something you fully believe in, but don’t have time for, think of a way you can compromise. Maybe you can take on a smaller part than what you were originally asked to do. You might also consider a trade, meaning that whoever is asking you to give your time to something might be able to help you with your list of priorities as well. For example, maybe you could find a friend and agree to trade watching each other’s children for a couples hours a week so you can each have time to accomplishing something important to you. In any case, there are almost always ways to make a commitment easier to take on.
Say No Sometimes, Even When You Want to Say Yes
This is the hardest one for many of us! If you find yourself leaping enthusiastically into role after role that seems perfectly cut out for you, slow down. I have a dear friend who is extremely talented and is asked to participate in many things on a daily basis. Her primary rule of thumb is to “never say yes on the spot.” She has learned from experience that hastily accepting commitments as they come just overextends her, limits her ability to focus on her own priorities, and leaves her feeling empty–even after all that work! Taking a moment, or 24 hours, to stop and think about what you’re taking on will save you a lot of stress and heartache in the long run.
Conclusion
It’s important to look at our deeper motivation for overextending ourselves. If you search deep down you’ll discover that your desire to be super helpful actually has little do with those you serve and much more to do with your prevalent need to feel important. After weeks and months pass by and your own personal goals are still sitting on the shelf waiting for some attention, that feeling of remorse for time lost can lead us into a dark place. Instead of allowing others to set a course for long-term disappointment, commit to sticking to your priorities, following your true feelings, and only saying yes to the best things out there. You deserve it!
